My least meaningful post to date.

Dear Diary,

I really need to shave. The hairs above my upper lip are starting to interfere with the food that I shove into my piehole. Did you ever see the movie "Anchorman", diary? It was a good movie. At one point Will licks his upper lip and says something about the yummy ribs he had for lunch. That is what I am becoming. A monster. A freak. Today as I was driving to work I saw one of the neighbor kids pointing at me with an excited look on his face, and then, as I drove closer he began to clutch his mother's leg and cry violently. Oh dear God what have I become?! A furry, Bar-B-Q sauce retaining monster! I must find a way out of this downward spiral! Maybe I'll shave tomorrow. That's all for today diary. xoxo

M.