Thursday, April 21, 2005

Continued slide into unshaven animal madness

Oh the depths to which I have sunk! The other day I remarked in a post on how my deteriorating appearance was frightening small, neighbor children. Unfortunately, I yet remain unshaven and I fear that I am losing all touch with humanity. Walking through my neighborhood the other day I could not help but notice how agitated my neighbors' dogs became when I passed them. The barking irritated me to what can only be described as an irrational degree, and I soon found myself running through the woods behind my house, tearing off my clothes and howling as I went. After that everything was a confused blur of violent images.

When I finally recovered a modicum of lucidity, I found myself in a pool of blood next to the carcass of a large deer. I wandered around for hours, ocasionally unrinating on trees that I passed. Eventually I found my way home and spent the rest of the day watching Animal Planet. Please God help me! I am attaching a picture of my current condition in an attempt to document my horrible transformation. Those of you with weak constitutions should avert your eyes now.





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