I don't normally go in for this sort of thing...

A friend of mine recently asked me for a quote from a book for some peculiar reason that I'm sure you wouldn't understand even if I could grasp it well enough to explain it to you, and while I don't normally go in for that sort of thing, I am, for equally inexplicable reasons, feeling uncharacteristically generous this morning, so I present you now with a quote from Douglas Noel Adams, taken from the playbill of a self-produced show which he co-wrote and performed while in school called Several Poor Players Strutting and Fretting. Thank you and enjoy.

"By the time you've read the opposite page (cast and credits) you'll probably be feeling restive and wondering when the show will start. Well, it should start at the exact moment that you read the first word of the next sentence. If it hasn't started yet, you're reading too fast. If it still hasn't started, you're reading much too fast, and we can recommend our own book 'How to Impair Your Reading Ability', written and published by Adams-Smith-Adams. With the aid of this slim volume, you will find that your reading powers shrink to practically nothing within a very short space of time. The more you read, the slower you get. Theoretically, you will never get to the end, which makes it the best value book you will ever have bought!" (taken without even the semblance of permission from Don't panic: Douglas Adams and The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy.)

I apologize to those of you who had hoped to see a post by yours truly, and instead had to suffer through the eloquence of one of the greatest writers of English prose ever. I can assure you we will not have that sort of thing going on here in the future. As a matter of fact, starting tomorrow, all of my blog entries will be translated into baby talk prior to their being posted. Awwww, dat'll be a widdle annoying, don't you think? Yeees, yeeees it will. Yes it will. You got a poopie in your die-dey? Yeah? A poopie in your die-dey?