Sometimes I'm reminded of how pathetic and boring my life really is. Take this morning for example. Here I had just posted a pointless entry on... what was it on again? Well, whatever it was, it couldn't have been all that important, when one of my coworkers comes up and starts talking to me. It was Mary Ann, but just because I've mentioned her twice in my blog, and the rest of my coworkers a total of zero times, doesn't mean that she's the only one worth pointing out. She's just the only one I've gotten too yet. There's this guy Jack, and he's just a blog entry waiting to happen.
I find that that last sentence is a lot funner if you put the emphasis on the "he's" and the "waiting". Try it for yourself, you'll like it.
Anyway, (emphasis on the "any") Mary Ann starts talking to me about something, and then we start talking about books, and I tell her she should write a book, and she tells me she doesn't even have a blog, so I says to her, I says, "you should get a blog..." and then there was some more conversation that was pretty much as interesting as the part I just shared, but then she starts talking about how when she was a kid they didn't have cheese or bread and they just ate sugar, except on Fridays when her brother would earn money selling newspapers on the corner, and then they would have cream of mushroom soup, sometimes with the little oyster crackers. Also, she mentions as an aside, she and her brother used to eat ants in their backyard.
Now to someone who spent their childhood mired as solidly in the world of the middle class as I did, this just sounds like a scene from Raising Arizona, so I smile and nod, but then she goes on describing how there weren't enough ants to fill them up, because ants are so small, and I mean, wow. Eating ants. Almost puts things in perspective a little bit. Almost makes you feel bad for wasting your time making fun of Californians. Almost, but not quite, if for no other reason than "'cause they're so darn stupid!" (Which, coincidentally, is also why it takes three of them to screw up a light bulb...) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... ahhh... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
10 comments:
Prison Counsellor: Why do you say you feel "trapped" in a man's body.
"Trapped" Convict: Well, sometimes I get them menstrual cramps real hard.
That's nuffin! DId she eva eat sand?
She was too poor to afford sand. Very sad.
eva???
stop takin da piss outta how I be tawkin
I like this place. This place is silly. Oh what a silly place this is that I like a lot. I gotta go swim in the swimmin pool and meet up with my silly grandparents at the silly swimming pool. And swim around in the silly water.
I hear mud pies are filling. That is what I told my little brother and sister, and they never complained.
Yes, but how did they turn out? Your brother and sister that is, not the mud pies. I'm sure the mud pies were delicious.
You tell me... you convinced one of them that Venus was the north star.
My guess is that would be your brother?
Maybe one too many mud pies for him...
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