Friday, November 25, 2005

I'm pretty sure at least one of these is funny

From The New Yorker, Nov 21, 2005:

"The woman, Doxy Nash, had been married to an undertaker and worked beside him. Stubbs had entered their funeral parlor one day, just to browse. Smitten, he tried to make flirtatious conversation with her, but she was too busy cremating someone. It wasn't long before Stubbs and Doxy Nash began having a secret affair, although soon she found out about it. Her undertaker husband, Wilbur, liked Stubbs and offered to bury him gratis if he would agree to have it done that day. Stubbs knocked him unconscious and ran away with his wife,but not before substituting a rubber bow-up doll in her place. One evening, after three of the happiest year's of Wilbur Nash's life, he became suspicious when he asked his wife for more chicken and she suddenly popped and flew around the room in ever-diminishing circles, coming to rest on the carpet." - Woody Allen

From Overheard in New York, Nov 22, 2005

"Guy: I'm domestic.
Chick: You are so not domestic.
Guy: I'm a lazy domestic.
Chick: You leave bags of garbage on the floor of your room for days at a time!
Guy: Whatever. Domesticated cows shit inside." - Overheard by: djlindee